by Marlena Elias
April 14, 2001

I'm struggling with a topic that has caused me a great deal of consternation and frustration. I have attempted to write this article for the past 5 months with 4 revisions, each revision clearly not suitable for public consumption. While I have been trying to write this article, new examples keep popping up to remind me as to why I continuously struggle with this topic.

Christianity is my problem. Christianity is my problem in that I consider my religious beliefs to be private. Christians do not consider their religious beliefs to be a private matter, but rather a public one to be shared whether anyone wants to hear it or not. Having stated my problem, I have a number of examples as to why this issue has reached an elevated level of annoyance and why I'm choosing to share my feelings.

One of my first experiences with Christian intolerance under the guise of "political/religious differences" was from the real estate agent I worked with when I first relocated to Texas. This woman had a "Bush for Governor" bumper sticker on her Cadillac and that should have been my first clue. Somewhere in the middle of our house hunting she started in on how awful "liberals" were. Catholics too. And oh, by the way, what church was I going to join? Within one conversation I realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore, and not only that, beware of the hypocrites who smile so beautifully that you almost forget how deep their intolerance is. She made this assumption that I was just like her and had no idea I was offended by her views.

My next experience with "these" folks was a rather heated discussion with a woman that who insisted that if a person did not accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior, then they were not allowed into heaven. I didn't realize that the millions and millions of Buddhists, Muslims and Jews had no way to reach heaven. I also didn't realize that there was some kind of security in place to stop these non-Christians from entering heaven. So on behalf of all people who don't believe in Jesus, I asked if they could get to heaven and who was to stop them? She said the only way for these non-Christians to get to heaven is to take Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. I felt my blood pressure rise, so I asked about the people who have no inkling about any kind of Christian religion. No one; no children, no adults, not one person that has not taken Jesus as their Lord and Savior could enter heaven. I still never got an answer on who is going to stop them.

It was at this point I knew I needed to write about my personal problems with Christianity. I don't believe in organized religion. There, I said it. I've been afraid to say that one sentence for most of my adult life because I didn't want to offend anyone. The funny thing is, most Christians offend me. My right to believe in God, in my own way, gets taken for granted by Christians who just assume I agree with their beliefs.

What really forced the issue for me was having Ethan tell me about the real estate agent that's selling the house next-door end their conversation with, "and what church do you belong to?" I realize that seems like an innocent enough question, except that Ethan and I are not affiliated with any religion nor should this assumption be made.

It's a plague. I'm not sure what it is about either Eth or myself that has people under the assumption that we belong to some Christian group, but people keep making it. If I were an awful person, would it be easier to believe I didn't belong to a church? Does being a good person equate to belonging to a religion? God I hope not! I'm getting to the point of telling people I worship Satan, but then, I don't believe in him either!

There was as story on the web about a 14-year-old girl that committed suicide. No one ever really knows why kids kill themselves, but the parents are left wondering why. This girl was quiet, dressed in black, wore black nail polish, and was curious about Wicca. The Christians in her school harassed her by screaming in her face "Jesus loves you!" There were more examples of pure ugliness, but the bottom line was she was different and therefore not to be tolerated. Can these Christians be directly to blame for this girl killing herself? No, I can't blame them nor does her Mother blame them. However, they contributed to her ending her life at 14. Peer pressure has been around forever, so has Christianity coupled with intolerance.

I was walking down the hall at work and I passed two ladies discussing their faith. One woman is a born again Christian and the other woman is Muslim. I cringed as I heard the Muslim woman explain/defend her religious beliefs. I kept walking even though I wanted to step in and defend the rights of the Muslim woman. Weeks later I saw the same couple with a continuation of the discussion and the Muslim woman looking very agitated. I'm sure both exchanges were done with the best intentions, but the Christian woman ended up offending the Muslim woman. What is so difficult about accepting people's differences?

I guess I have more than one problem with Christianity starting with hypocrisy, and moving right to arrogance. Acceptance is not one of the tenets of Christianity either. Considering Christ is the basis of Christianity, I find very few members emulating Jesus' many examples of love. Why does Jesus' message seem to fall on deaf ears? Considering how much his name is used, the actions of the faithful do not reflect his teachings or his life. Tolerance, love, understanding, self worth, and compassion are not a part of Christianity either. Conversion is key, conversion and obedience. This kind of blind faith leaves me cold.

Someday when I die, I'm going to find out for sure what happens to us all. I'm convinced of this. I'm also convinced because I treat people the way I want to be treated, with kindness and compassion (on a good day when I'm not having PMS), that I will go to heaven. My heaven to be sure, not a heaven affiliated with any religion. I'm sure they wouldn't want my type! Heaven just the same, and I'll be able to ask the big Kahuna, "Why?" Why the hatred in the name of Jesus? Why hatred and intolerance because of sexual orientation? Why take so much stock in the Bible which was written by men?

Until then, I'll just have to live my life the way I see fit and hope that others can find it in their heart to give me the same consideration. <EM>