by Ethan Johnson
September 6, 2007

Alrighty... a good blend of new releases and moldy oldies:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: Here's the problem there, jerky: I had just finished reading the final installment of the series, and then went out to see this movie. As a result, it felt probably more perfunctory than it was. But considering what a beating the book version of this movie was the first time around, I wasn't really looking forward to this anyway. They really softened it up compared to the book, but there's no shaking the feeling that everyone is anxiously awaiting the day when they can finish adding Harry Potter movies to their CV and move on. If you're supporting the series in all its forms, no review will deter you from your mission anyway.

Hairspray (2007): Wow, wow, wowwwww. We were torn between this or The Simpsons Movie, and not 3 minutes into it I thought, "we made the right decision...!" What an amazing movie. Oscars® for Nikki Blonsky, or there is no God and we'll all die alone. John Travolta was "OK" as the mother, but the joke does kinda wear thin in short order. But seriously, who cares? If you're not hitting the ceiling after this movie, check your pulse, man. Uh, yeah - we're buying it in 24kt gold, diamond-encrusted HD DVD whenever that opportunity arises. Meanwhile, go NOW to see it. NOW!!!!

Stardust (2007): I went into this knowing next to nothing about the movie, other than a one-liner review that called this "Shrek for adults." Well, I thought Shrek had pretty broad appeal, so I'm not sure why this movie would be more narrow in scope. It is indeed a bit more of an "adult" movie in that I probably wouldn't bring young kids to see it. Other than that, see it "cold" and on the big screen.

The Big Lebowski: I won't name names, but some people had the frickin' epiphany about this movie, to which I say, to each their own. Don't get me wrong - I laughed my ass off in parts of this movie. Eminently quotable. I totally lost myself in the Jeff Bridges and John Goodman characters - heck, even the John Turturro character ("the Jesus") - and that's saying an awful lot. But on the flip side, it's distinctly a Coen brothers movie, for good or for ill. I really didn't like the final, say, minute of the movie but I may just be obtuse and missing the joke. Recommended anyway.

The Rock: Here's what kills me about this movie: Three people shared "written by" credits for this. Three! And they say patronage is dead. All I can imagine is, they each took turns writing each sentence. It's not like there was a lot of heavy lifting involved - well, other than Joe's Big Book of Movie Clichés. There's the pissed-off detective with a heart of gold, the smart alecky lab rat who gets in way over his head, the bad guy general with a heart of gold, and Sean Connery. Want dumb entertainment? Here it is. Exhibit A as to why Michael Bay became an instant punchline. The major irony? Thoroughly enjoyable. Rent if you must.

Snakes on a Plane: Speaking of instant punchlines, SoaP has made the rounds onto Satellite TV so I have it a whirl, for nostalgic laffs. (Ah, 2006.) More of a plot-ish movie than I was expecting, however there is one major error in the plot timing. Without spoiling anything, I'll just remind would-be screenwriters that making your main characters expendable with time left on the clock is a bad, bad idea. And to think this movie was focus grouped half to death. Shameful. Again, not much "there" there, but rent if you feel the need.

Cool Hand Luke: Not sure what I think about this movie. I figure I'm one more iota less culturally bereft than I was 2 hours prior to sitting through it, but it seems to be that the 60s and 70s had more than their fair share of "anti-hero" flicks (ex: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest). The ham-fisted Jesus/cross imagery got tiresome for me, minus the necessary point of view to back it up. Was Luke a martyr? A revolutionary? A prophet? I'm sure a few years of the Fleener method of film study will reveal all. As a story, it was good, but I'm not a huge fan of prison dramas. Also, young Paul Newman looks uncomfortably similar to young George W Bush. FYI. Rent as the spirit moves you, and to become an iota less culturally bereft.

The Host: Hoo whee. Totally out of left field. This is a Korean monster movie, but so, so much smarter than one might expect for the genre. The movie cuts along at a steady clip and I was absolutely riveted right up to the ending. Longer review (such as it is) may be perused here (no spoilers). Highly recommended - rent it today for a complete change of pace. Korean with English subtitles. <EM>