by Ethan Johnson
September 29, 2003

Admit it, chicken is boring. Sure, you've tried the spicy hot chicken sandwich thing at Wendy's™, but truth be told, chicken is chicken is chicken, and if you ever wanted to flaunt your cooking prowess (and/or impress a crush), chicken isn't your first thought. It isn't. Well, that's why you did a Google™ search and found this site, which will now reveal to you the secret of marital bliss:

Chicken Satay a la Marlena

Best. Chicken. Ever. This recipe serves two, doubling it serves four, and so on.

1 pkg. Boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 Onion (quartered)
1 clove minced garlic
1/4 tsp Red pepper flakes
1/2 cup Chunky peanut butter
1/2 cup Soy sauce
2 Tbsp Lime Juice
2 Tbsp Vegetable oil
2 tsp Sugar

You Will Need:

Skewers
Sharp Knife
2 Pyrex™ measuring cups
2 Cutting Boards
Grill

Now then:

Remember, chicken, if prepared incorrectly, can KILL YOU. Remember to mention this to the object of your affection as you serve this dish, proving conclusively that you are not afraid to tackle the rough stuff. You will need 2 cutting boards (as noted above, quit skimming), 1 for the chicken and 1 for the onion.

1. Quarter the onion and set aside. This concludes the need for cutting board #1. Yes, you can use a paper plate or something if you do not want to mess around with washing an extra item.

2. Take one of the Pyrex™ measuring cups and cram as close to 1/2 cup of peanut butter in there as you can reasonably get away with.

3. Pour in 1/2 cup of the soy sauce.

   

   Ta da! You now have 1 cup of ingredients, and you have barely started.

4. Measure out the sugar, red pepper flakes, garlic, lime juice, and vegetable oil and add them to the peanut butter/soy mixture. You can do this one by one, or use a "bam" cup, although the sugar can complicate matters that way. Either way, all of the ingredients need to end up in the soy mixture.

5. Use a fork to stir the mixture until the peanut butter essentially breaks down, separating the peanuts out from the rest of the molecular structure. I can't think of another way to descibe this, sorry.

   

   Here's what "halfway there" looks like, for you visual learners:

   

   When the ingredients incorporate into a thick brown liquid and the peanuts have divorced themselves from the molecular structure of what was once peanut butter, you can stop stirring.

   

   Note: You could use one of those stick blenders, but the small container really makes it more of a pain than it is worth. The object is to keep as much marinade as possible in the cup. So a fork works just fine, as seen above.

6. Now we will need the 2nd cutting board.

   Rinse a package of boneless, skinless chicken breasts. For this iteration of the recipe, my local Kroger™ forced me to buy chicken "tenders", which actually means less work for you, should you decide to get them.

   If using solid chicken breasts, cut them lengthwise in half. If not, feel the smug satisfaction of not having to.

7. Cut the ends off of the chicken strips, because generally they look nasty. Cut the chicken into bite-sized pieces, all the while taking into consideration that these pieces need to stay put on a skewer.

   

8. Place the chicken pieces into a bowl large enough to accomodate them as well as the marinade. Choose wisely.

   

9. Refer to your previously quartered onion, and peel the layers off into skewer-friendly "chips". Cover the chicken pieces with the onion chips.

   

10. Pour the soy/peanut butter mixture all over the chicken and onions. Make sure everything gets coated.

    

11. Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least 2 hours, at most overnight (for dinner the next day, see).

12. Remove the bowl from the fridge and uncover.

13. Slide a piece of onion onto a skewer, followed by a piece of chicken. Repeat until skewer is reasonably full.

14. Continue above until all of the chicken and onions have found their way onto skewers. It is entirely possible to have one or more skewers dedicated to one of the above ingredients.

    

15. Pre-heat grill. If you have a way-cool grill like we do (cough), the temperature gauge should read around 400 (degrees) F. If not, or you are using charcoal or a Foreman™ grill, just pre-heat it per local custom.

16. Dump the leftover marinade into a Pyrex™ measuring cup.

17. Arrange the skewers on the grill for maximum cookery. Brush the top of each skewer with the marinade.

    

18. Grill the skewers about 2 minutes per side (there are 4 sides). Turn the skewers 90 degrees and apply marinade.

19. Remove skewers from grill onto a clean plate.

20. Strip the chicken and onions off of the skewers onto whatever you will be serving them on.

    

21. [Chuck Wagon Holler]!

And so, the day, is saved.

Enjoy! Let me know how it turns out. <EM>