by Ethan Johnson
June 10, 2007

One thing is certain: The social internet seems to never get tired of lists. Top 100, top 10, top 5, you name it, people read it and agree or disagree with your picks. I was going to throw in with this convention, as I was thinking recently that the older I get, the more I embrace the perks of adulthood and decide that I don't give a [flying fridge] what anyone thinks about my personal preferences. The trick is not insisting that everyone follow my lead, or seek to appease me. I was going to make a list of some of the things that I like, have liked, and will like, and I don't give a [flying fridge] if you do too.

I decided it would pack more punch if I revealed some of these preferences one at a time. Here is the first in an occasional series: I like scrapbooking.

I'm very new to that whole scene, but what of it I have seen is a) utterly insane, and b) incredibly creative. I used to be heavy into art back around 1987, became disillusioned with it, and systematically stopped engaging in "artsy" pursuits. Now in 2007, I want to recapture that earlier interest without all of the competitive bullshit (or would-be "statements"). Through a bizarre twist of fate, I think I have found the answer in scrapbook-making.

Or should I say, the answer was found for me. Marlena got into it first, and made a "quote" book for my most recent birthday. This progressed into making one for my mother that we both worked on. I admittedly wasn't excited about the project, partly because I completely feel uncreative anymore, and partly because, face it, scrapbooking is girly. But like water smooths a stone, Mar got me into it and now it's a "we" thing.

Going into this, Marlena and I are working on ONE project. (We're such amateurs.) We completed ONE project for my mother for Mother's Day, not Dear Old Dad is getting his turn this month. We're making better progress than last time, but for that extra push over the cliff (and some quality "us" time) I signed us up for "Friday Crop Night" at a local scrapbook supply store. The staff is really friendly and helpful, and they make all sorts of clever sample layouts to inspire people - and sure, sell product. But really, crop nights are a license to print money for the store owner. $10 guarantees a seat in the crop room for 6 hours (6pm to midnight). And what are they selling? A seat at a table, some electricity use, and maybe a share of the water bill if you use the restroom. Great work if you can get it.

The insidious trap comes when the project is in full swing, and we discover that we're missing that certain something. No problem! The store keeps a tab open all night and you can add all sorts of doo-dads throughout the night and pay up when you leave. Cha-ching.

I was apparently an oddity there, because I'm told that hetero men don't "do" scrapbooking. A few husbands are in Big Trouble thanks to me, because a few of the women commented that they normally couldn't get their husbands to even set foot inside the store. It's not that "girly schmirly", as Mar likes to say. No worse than Bed Bath and Beyond. By and large, however, the reigning assumption seems to be that all scrapbooks are created solely by women or gay men. And gay or not, the men aren't wall to wall at these places.

One woman looked up briefly from her project and asked Mar (because I am a deaf-mute) "is he in trouble?"

Well, yes, but not in the way that she meant. I was perfectly happy working on ONE project, and then it hit me as I found some funky paper in the clearance section of another supply store: I could make TWO projects! And a third! And a fourth! And now, we're basically screwed.

Here are the projects that we are either working on now, or are actively planning:

• Father's Day "book of quotes" (things my Dad says often with added context)
• Summer 2007 Travel Journal (10-state (!!!) road trip on tap soon)
• Recipe Book(s) from the pages of ethmar.com (I might take a few orders in time for the holidays - stay tuned)
• FC Dallas 2007 scrapbook

Some of these women in the crop room are Hard Core. There is no messing with them, man. Crazy expensive totes for their gear, electronic pattern cutters, the works. We have no plans to follow suit, but damn, girl!

Since I've gotta be me, and we have to be us, don't worry about lacey ribbon and unicorns on our scrapbook pages. No, we're the Hell's Angels of scrapbooking. Here is a sample page from the Father's Day book we're working on:

There is another quote/page in development that is going to be fookin' awesome when completed. We're going to photograph each page this time before we ship the book out.

Finally, thanks to the magic of the internet, there are sites devoted to the art of scrapbooking, and it is an art. Here is a sample page that provides customer-supplied sample pages that they have created. Some are incredibly creative, others not so much. But plenty of great ideas and very touching personal stuff. Better than PostSecret, in my opinion.

If you need us, we'll be in the crop room. <EM>