by Ethan Johnson
April 22, 2007

Holy crappin' moley.

I managed to attend the home opener for FC Dallas. I got tickets in the "obnoxious" section (116) in the 2nd row. Amazing seats. If we were any closer to the action, we'd have been on the field playing for the team. We were right behind the goal, and I commented to my game pal that we'll for sure know if the shot goes in as long as the attempt is made on our end of the field.

It was weird and exciting to see one of my favorite 2006 Copa Mundial players mere yards away from us: Shaka Hislop. He's far from a fan favorite, but he's on our side which means in-between the complaining the fans have his back. Here's his back:

Our section was in charge of being completely and utterly obnoxious. They kicked off the game with some festive crepe paper streamering. The cleanup crew made short work of the mess before the ball/players came rumbling down the field.

I'm still decompressing after attending my first live MLS game. For those of you who are hemming and hawing about checking a game out, but aren't quite sure, here are my doe-eyed observations:

• The fans behind the goal are worlds wilder and rowdier than the fans on the sidelines. Be prepared for the world's longest drum solo, often right next to your ears or jutting into your back. I'd recommend some sort of ear protection, honestly. Or sit in the sideline areas.
• I'm offering this nugget of wisdom up as an FYI to the uninitiated, and is not meant to be derogatory or whatever. X amount of the audience is Hispanic. And X amount of that demographic is very demonstrative (read: touchy-feely). If you have a thing about random people touching you - for example, I spent at least 30 minutes acting as a support for a revved-up fan with his hand on my shoulder while he balanced awkwardly on the seating bench - you may want to sit in the more subdued sideline seating. No guarantees that there won't be any random human contact. But probably much less so than the rowdy end zone seats. I personally thought it was amusing and added to the live-action ambience. But some people are less tolerant about that stuff so I figured I'd say something.
• Sitting close to the action is unparalleled. HDTV is great, but close seats? Live? Way cool.
• Certain stretches of soccer games on TV can seem like a dreary bore. Those same scoreless stretches live are interesting and downright exciting when you can see the ball getting closer to the goal and either going in (hooray!) or not (dammit!). Plus you have the spatial perspective that TV (even HD) can't provide. When the goalie blocks a close goal attempt, it's incredibly impressive when you see how fine the margin of error is.
• If you aren't allowed to practice drumming at home, bring your porta-snare to the game and go bananas. Actually, that may sound cheeky but I'm betting that the side benefit is that you'll learn how to adapt to playing drums with others. People went bonkers solo, and then started to fall into organized boom-bap-boomboom-bap snare/tom patterns.
• MLS soccer, specifically at Pizza Hut Park is extremely family friendly. It wasn't all guys or soccer-playing kids. Lots of women and families there. FYI.
• Unlike other major sports (US), MLS soccer games just sorta "start" without much warning. The game was almost 1 minute underway when I realized that the game was actually "on". The streamers and confetti bombs were somewhat distracting but I probably would have spaced on the game start anyway.
• By the way, when FCD scored their 3rd and final goal, I threw my hands up and screamed "SCOOOOORE", thereby launching my Hispanic friend into the front row. He didn't get hurt; he was just not expecting me to freak out during the goal and he lost his balance on the bench. All in good fun and alla that.
• Unlike baseball stadiums, booze and food vendors don't seem to patrol the aisles at Pizza hut Park. I didn't miss them personally, but if you're used to calls of "hey beer" during a sporting event you may be out of your element.
• If you give in to my peer pressure and decide to go to an FC Dallas game, DO NOT get your tickets from TicketMaster. The FCD front office has people on hand who will fix you up but good with tickets without the TM service charge and related BS. If you are unsure who to call contact me via email and I'll point you in the right direction. Or start hanging out at the Fan Forum and you'll find all of this out in short order.

So how was the game? Awesome. FC Dallas won 3-1. Colorado's lone goal was in fact a product of flat-out cheating, and I'm not saying that as some homer who can't possibly give the visiting team a lick of credit. The Colorado player batted the ball down with his forearm (illegal) and kicked it in for the score. I think Shaka Hislop played that shot soft on the assumption that it would be ruled a "hand ball" and send to the other end for a penalty kick. Fortunately FCD won so it's more of an annoyance than a life-or-death issue.

Sitting behind the goal means that you can expect a few visits from "Hooper" the team mascot. In the next photo, he is playing someone's snare drum which is obscured by the fans.

In lieu of sunscreen, I wore a long-sleeved shirt under my FCD fan shirt and donned a ball cap. I did OK, considering how brutal the direct sunlight is here. My game pal shot a photo of me during halftime to commemorate the experience:

I left with another souvenir: Strained vocal chords. They're better now, thanks, but in the immediate post-game aftermath I was hurtin' for certain. But that's the sign of an exciting game and a fun experience.

I can't stress this enough, and I'm not saying this to shine on the Fan Forum faithful: MLS is really on the way up. If you're annoyed with other major sports pricing the fans out of the park and snotty overpaid "stars" ruining the game, check out MLS. It's incredibly fan friendly (and fan driven) and definitely worth a trip to Frisco TX, or wherever your local team resides.

Check your local TV listings; the TV ratings count too. Let MLS know that you support world-class soccer in the USA, and if your TV/cable/satellite provider isn't showing their games, ask why not and/or support the providers who are. I'm flamingly pissed at the so-called major sports talk radio station down here because they spent an eternity giving sports scores and updates without a single word about the FC Dallas game. I'll go so far as to say that if your sports network/media outlet isn't seriously covering MLS, they shouldn't be your sports outlet. I'm saying that as a doe-eyed convert to the game and have zero affiliation with MLS or any of its teams.

And if you have the mind-blowing experience at the game like I did, PLEASE tell your friends. MLS is still ramping up (impressively, says me) and your support is going to help keep it around for years to come.

So who's going with me to see FCD take on New England next Sunday? <EM>

PS: Big thanks to game/fan forum pal Douglas for going with me to the game.