by Ethan Johnson
October 30, 2006

Plato was arguably the most famous philosopher in human history. He also loathed democracy.

In short, Plato argued that to leave the act of decision-making up to the common folk was akin to buying bread from a blacksmith. Plato was pretty "elitist", when you get right down to it. After all, his ideal leader was, wait for it, the Philosopher-king. Ya think?

Plato's dislike of democracy echoed forth in the commentary dished up by one Mike Hashimoto today in the Dallas Morning News:

Stated another way, I'm sure Anna Nicole Smith is a lovely person, but should she have the same influence on an election as you or I do?

Theoretically, as representative democracy goes, yes.

Anna Nicole Smith also has the right to criticize the government, own a gun, choose her own religion (or not), to be protected from unlawful search and seizure, and to refuse to engage in self-incrimination. We may collectively moan and groan that equal rights mean equal rights, but the alternative is slippery indeed. One of the best things about our Constitutional rights here in the US is that they apply to everyone, again, in theory if not in practice. John Saunders (Canadian) commented on a sports show this weekend that he can't conceive of why freedom of speech applies to the KKK and the American Nazi Party. Quite a conundrum, isn't it? I wonder how Canada resolves this disparity.

I empathize with the sentiments expressed by people like Mr. Hashimoto. If someone can barely fog a mirror, I'm not sure that he or she accurately reflects the desires of the voting public. Conversely, I ask, how is being say, a functioning idiot different than voting the straight-party ticket? The message that very act sends is that you can't be bothered with knowing a thing about the candidiates, their positions, their goals, and the consequences of victory. All you know is, you vote straight-ticket and that's good enough for you. Worse or better?

Of course, it's entirely possible that [party] so deeply reflects your goals, positions, wants, needs, fears, values, and so on that the straight-party option means less time in the voting booth. Generally speaking, however, it's the blunt tool of the intellectually incurious. I applaud Mr. Hashimoto's insistence that we all take the time to actually research the candidates, the issues, and which party or candidate best represents those ideals. But the catch-22 is, many of us are too busy for that sort of thing. People aren't making fancy 4-course meals for dinner every night as a general rule, they're popping stuff in the microwave or making "easy meals in under 30 minutes." The straight-ticket button (assuming one actually opts to vote) is the microwave of voting.

Does this mean that only the most educated, informed, and civic-minded people in the US should be allowed to vote? That's a pleasant fantasy for some, I'm sure. But that's not democracy, that's oligarchy. I've pretty much had it up to here with Parents in Chief who lambast the electorate for deigning to hold their government accountable, and send them away with assurances that the big decisions are being "handled" by the elected officials and are not worthy of the scrutiny of the people who voted them in, and more importantly, pay their salaries. I read a snippet once about some politician who tried to hog up a cab purely by virtue of his title. The coolest response ever: "Blow it out your taxpayer-funded ass."

Which brings me to a modest proposal of my own: How about we ban the idiots (criteria TBD) from voting and having any say in our representative democracy? In return, anyone who doesn't vote is exempt from paying any and all taxes. Not sure if anyone is noticing this, but the moans and groans about the Idiotarian Electorate don't seem to be stopping anyone from enjoying their tax dollars. What if only the voters paid taxes? How different would the country be as a result?

And since I'm all about the solutions, and not just the problems, how about this: Maybe, rather than complaining about the "idiots" who are bogging down our representative democracy, you do something to educate them? If 80% of voters are flaming idiots, how'd that happen? I am repeating the phrase "representative democracy" in hopes that elitist types like Mr. Hashimoto look outside themselves and consider that we all get the government we deserve, and freezing people out of that selection process doesn't necessarily improve anything. Dictatorships freeze everyone out of the selection process. Worse or better?

In Mr. Hashimoto's opinion piece, he complains about a none-too-swift fast-food worker. I can't believe that he uses this encounter as an example of why the idiots should be banned from the polls. Seems to me, he was the one who treated the worker poorly, he lost his cool, he wrote this person off as unworthy of participating in a representative democracy. And perhaps most egregious, he apparently made no effort to complain to the management about the poor service he claimed to receive. Nope, he wrote the entire establishment off for one error, and claims he'll never return. If this is the sort of litmus test for customer service that he applies to fast-food joints, who on Earth can meet his lofty standards at the ballot box? Maybe he'll write himself in for all open slots.

And he'll get the government he deserves. <EM>