by Ethan Johnson
October 9, 2006
Week Five of the 2006 NFL season is nearly at an end, so let's take a look at the three teams I'm following to varying degrees, as well as some other highlights from around the league. This all ties in with my season preview, so check back to see how my predictions are panning out, if you take a notion.
New Orleans Saints: SUPER BOWL BABYYYY WOOOT!!!! With the exception of the loss to Carolina (dammit), my beloved Saint* are really kicking serious boo-tay. 4-1 after 5 weeks. They beat Atlanta on Monday Night Football. What an emotional game. They came back home to play Tampa Bay, and eked out a win. This isn't college football, so it's not like they drop in the Top 25 poll. Reggie Effin' Bush has been exciting, but uneven. I am especially frustrated with the not east-west, but BACKWARD running on punt/kick returns. He finally redeemed himself with a TD run on Sunday, but jeez. What's so hard about "fair catch" or "fall down" if the coverage is on you like white on rice? Unlike plays from scrimmage, they don't give you "forward progress" on kick returns, to my knowledge, so if you catch it on the 10 yard line and run backwards to the 1, and get stuffed, the actual plays from scrimmage start on the 1. ARGH.
I am really excited about the "weapons" this team has, especially #12, Marques Colston. He is "my guy". Time was, if you wanted to get the ball to someone in the air, your only option was #87, Joe Horn. Now Horn is the guy who gets the ball on occasion because people were wising up to double covering Colston. Then there's the double-barreled assault of #26 Deuce McAllister and #25 Reggie Effin' Bush. And #9 Drew Brees is playing to expectations, which means, very well. I think the Saints coloring reminds him of his Purdue days, which is OK to a point.
Sean Payton (hey, I knew I'd learn the name of the coach sooner or later) has done an outstanding job with this team, and the organization overall really seems to be shaping up. The downside: Try to look at Sean Payton (during a game) and not exclaim "Missus Kiveat!" Yeah, you can't. And you're welcome.
Cincinnati Bengals: 3-1 baby! Sadly, the one loss came at the hands of the Patriots, which was a game I highlighted as being a yardstick for "Super Bowl readiness". Oops. The Bengal seem to have Teh Mojo on their side (as does the beloved Saint), so maybe the Colts game will be another indicator of Big Time readiness. Chad Johnson really hasn't been very "showy" this year. He's funnier on his ESPN commercial than he is in the end zone. The chicken dance? Really? Chad must be squeezing the eagle this year, after myriad fines last year for post-touchdown antics.
Chicago Bears: The Bears should kiss the hem of Bernard Berrian's garment every day. What a find. Moosie Muhammad is playing well, Rex Grossman is redeeming himself nicely, Cedric Benson is "meh", and the defense is Rockin' with Dokken. Hey, the Bears are fun to watch again! After how many years? Despite my allegiance to the beloved Saint, my wish is that the Bear would win the Big One sometime soon so we can re-set the clock on comparing all Bear teams to 1985. There IS no comparison, anymore than there IS no Dick Butkus playing in the NFL right now. There just isn't. Let's move on, huh?
(Oh, Bears are 5-0. Let the 1985 comparisons begin! Well, wait, are the Dolphins on the schedule?)
Teh Rest: Packers: (Raspberries). Seahawks: (Raspberries). Lions: (Same). Titans: (Megadittoes.) Lots and lots of bad football out there.
Oakland: Besides bushels of raspberries, I have to note that I saw some shot of Randy Moss talking with Aaron Brooks (who is out injured anyway), and I thought, if there were a caption contest for this shot, I'd submit "Bust and Buster."
Dallas: Hey, guess what! T.O. is a distraction! Who knew? I mean, did anyone see this coming? Like maybe in the personnel office? There is talk of benching Drew Bledsoe. The local sports radio station is going ape-poop about yesterday's game. Yee, haw.
Steelers: Moral: Wear a helmet when you ride a motorcycle. Things were going well when Charlie Batch was at the helm, now it's been weeks of pain, pain, pain. Good thing I'm not a Steeler fan. Better thing that Jerome Bettis retired when he did. Ugh.
Let's see what the next four weeks bring, huh? <EM>
* This is an old inside joke from WSCR-AM in Chicago. Something about Canadian sports announcers dropping the final "s" from team names, like the Detroit Red Wing or the New Orleans Saint.
