by Ethan Johnson
September 5, 2006

We just got back from a whirlwind vacation trip to Milwaukee and Chicago. During the first leg of the Wisconsin visit, I ran into Gander Mountain to check out plain t-shirts. I'm not into hunting or fishing, but Gander Mountain is great for good clothing, cheap. I hit the clearance rack and got two green t-shirts for under $7 USD apiece. Unfortunately, I managed to grab the two items that did NOT have price tags on them, never mind that everything on the rack was the same price. One of the clerks was a stickler for SKU numbers and insisted on scrolling through the computerized inventory screens until she found them. Meanwhile, I was shunted off to the side while the cashier rang up the other people in line.

I watched people ring up a variety of "outdoorsy" sales, like fishing gear and hunting doo-dads. The line was capped off by three goofballs wearing full hunter camoflage, including hats. I was disappointed that they left off the face paint, but they probably didn't want to be pegged as gun-toting maniacs at the checkout counter.

These guys were hugely "northern". Their accents flirted with full-on Canuckese, but they stopped short, which suggests northern WI or Upper Peninsula MI (although that has a ring all its own). Figure northern (as in, farther north than Milwaukee) WI. They bought ammo and skeet targets. On their way out, one asked the cashier if they "got the latest duck regulations in yet."

"No," said the cashier, glumly. I opted not to get involved, but I wanted to point at the literature rack behind the counter and say, "yes you do, it's form 'M R Ducks'."

OK, to explain, there is some dippy routine that was spelled out on the back of some guy's t-shirt at the Plano Balloon Fest one year. I don't know where this "comes from", but here is the routine (note: say this out loud if it doesn't "click" for you):

M R DUCKS

M R NOT DUCKS

O S A R

C M WANGS

O I C

M R DUCKS

It dawned on me today what that routine represents.

It's Sesame Street for rednecks. <EM>

(Photo of seagulls (not ducks) by Ethan Johnson.)